The walls are talking you just aren't listening...

There is a tiny Chinese restaurant in a strange part of Queens. In this restaurant there are even stranger decorations on the wall. The menu on the wall is made from paper and the staff seems on the surface to be quite disheveled. Foreign books and foreign space strangers to the face but they make it feel like home. If eyes could hug. You would be embraced.
Funny how I blog when I miss my mom. When I want people to feel God's love. When I want to feel God's love.
There is a plant in the corner of this hole in the wall restaurant. It is of course fake. I think the plant is honestly happy to be any where. Location isn't always location, location, location. We just think it is.
I've been craving a good wandering session with myself. Prone to wander. Yes like that song we all know. When I shut my eyes I see a shack of an apartment with a computer where I pour out all I've been storing up for the last 23 years...almost 24. I'm just busy with thoughts. And action isn't my supply of life but neither is complacency.
Is anyone weighed down with figuring things out? Lay it at His feet. Not just today. Tomorrow is entirely different than today. We have no idea what it looks like or what to expect. So when your eyes crack open at whatever response it takes to get you out of that bed remember that it's a new day to decided to do things Jesus's way. No matter what you deceided yesterday...it's over. And yesterdays excuses measure up to insufficent funds. You just can't cash them in. Of course this is what I'm learning this is why I'm writing it. A lesson for all.
I have a new bedroom.
It has a certain luring effect to it. Of comfort. For some reason ever since I moved in I've felt more like myself. I've wanted to spend more time loving Jesus...surroundings make such a difference. Like the plant in the Chinese place it's just something that says welcome it's not much but it's ours. Thats my room...not much but it's mine.
Where do we find ourselves? The obvious is the word. How do we get back when we've gone away? Well just like when I lace up my nikes and hit the pavement it hurts if I haven't done it in a month...but I instantly remember how good it feels.
It consumes me. Every word is dripping. So much to take in. Sometimes I want to ignore it just like I want to ignore the homeless because it cuts so deep. I'm not just walking by another person I'm walking right by Jesus's heart. His compassion is found in a cardboard box where Gucci and Prada don't matter and all the theology is just a bunch of tests from the past.
I can't ignore them...I can't I'm like two palms scrapping across the hot sidewalk a sight to see....I am struggle. Struggle for what I am and what I want to be. I struggle between religiousity and knowing God. Following Him and following dare I say my friends. Let's be honest we are most influenced by the people we love the most. Even the relationships that are seemingly dead affect us still. So I'm learning and my heart is brimming. I'm taking my time.
For now I am trying to conquer each day. To proclaim Jesus Christ as King a little louder than the day before and not clutching to yesterday. Focus.
Go ahead say the thing that you fear to say. Someone else is thinking it.
Keep peace with God. And love beyond what you are capable of. Til next time. Let's shake things wherever we our. God put us there so storm the gate.