It has been quite some time since I tried to convey via my blog what is happening in the life of me. Since I am currently quite home sick and my life is oh so bittersweet I have decided to let everyone in on the know!
School has been really challenging this semester...man challenging is not the word I desire to use. It's so vague...it seems to incomplete to say "challenging". Let's start again. This semester has been a time where I finally know and recognize that I don't know much at all. The year started out great I drove over to New York with my mom and my sister,our trip was quite the extravaganza!(This must be saved for another time) I was pumped about the school year ready to take on the work, excited for my amazing room/beyond a blessing of roommates! I went in full force. Serving God is surely a marathon because I am still a month from finishing the semester out and if I were to be honest with the world(or at least the people in my world) I want to quit. To sit underneath a tree and pout. If you are startled by my honesty don't be. If there is anyone thing that God has been teaching me this year so far it's that we often hide from honesty, but why?
So why Callie do you want to quit? That seems so unlike you...True. First let's get things straight. There is a difference between wanting to quit and actually coming to fruition with that idea. I am not going to quit. I believe God has called me to Elim, and now even more that times are hard. I cannot express what it is that has me discouraged but I can tell you it is more than just a heart issue,it's a life issue. I have been questioning pulling at my hair and wondering with every fiber of my being what I've been taught about God. Do I believe God is real? Without a doubt. Don't fret about that. :) All I ask of you dear friends is that you pray.
I do not wish to be such a glumapotomous! Or lead you to believe that life is horrible. It certainly is not! I am just diving into the vast mystery that is my God of the universe. It's exciting and scary. It's pushing me beyond my limits leaving me aching and burning to have my questions answered just like Job! Am I sitting with boils left with nothing? No. I sit comfortably in my room left with a life of possessions knowing I am loved and not forgotten.
Roommates! I have been very blessed to have two astounding roommates! Aaryn & Becca have been such a blessing to me! Last night we were talking about what we are thankful for and Becca expressed her gratitude for our room. God reminded me while she was talking about how careful He is...careful? Yes I said careful. What does that mean? Don't take my words and run with them. Oh man, you are running now aren't you? Stop in your tracks! I mean it! Ok, thank you, now I can finish my thought(golly people are always getting carried away with obscure thoughts)...God is not cautious He does what He wills. He is God His agenda is solid, yes we have a free will but He is in full control. *If your thought is-wow all this from roommates...don't worry I'm getting there( I always am getting there,then again aren't we all just getting there. Wherever there may or may not be?)* So onward(Christian soldier?) God is in control. He is also thought out His plans cannot be thwarted despite what the scheming of us or satan. God planned our room. We struggle we fall hard but all our scrapes,pumps bruises in the times where we are broken and bleeding on the floor. God knew. We have been saved by the God of grace who has installed himself in Becca, Aaryn & myself. By that grace in which He has so abundantly been placed in each one of us we are able to lift each other up. Out of the ashes we rise. Alone is never absolute. So trust this: God is careful.
Excuse me but...you should probably check
out this video:
youtube.com/watch?v=cYpxxAINw7w
Like it? I went to New Jersey with Aaryn over fall break and on our way home we saw Anna the Banana and of course we had to stop. Speaking of New Jersey it is beautiful! Don't believe the lies. I have seen it for myself. It is actually quite an enchanting place. This break was the best I have ever been on. It was awesome getting to know Aaryn's family. We got to sleep in almost everyday and we ate the most amazing food ever! Aaryn's mom is an excellent cook! We also went to NYC on Monday where we met up with some long lost friends and school mates! Each year at Elim the Junior class goes to NYSUM(New York School of Urban Ministry) it's in New York City and all they do for 5 weeks is straight up street ministry! Talk about amazing! On mondays they have the day off so we went to play with them! :)
Hmmm I feel I'm forgetting something...
Parting this blog proves to be harder and I have much more to say, however I also have homework calling my name(it is oh so demanding of my time:). I bid you ado. Hopefully I will have adventure of Boston(where I will be going for Thanksgiving) next time. Until then I will continue to chase after veritas...
